Independence

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My mom always said never to owe or borrow because there’s a saying, that if you borrow someone’s clothes or shoes to attend a party, you can’t really dance because the owner will be watching. First, they’ll whisper to you and say, “don’t move too much, you’ll crease the shoes.” Then, they’ll whisper to someone else and say, “look, the clothes that X is wearing, I lent it to them.”

Though this isn’t always true, it happens. my mom has always tried to make us independent and sometimes, she goes over board. One time, I waited too long for my siblings’ assistance with a homework assignment and didn’t get to do it. My mom beat me to school and in front of my class for not being able to do it myself.

Obviously, that messed me up but in the long run, it has helped me. I’ve been in spaces where people discuss other people who they’ve helped, knowing well that the subject of the discussion is a mutual friend. People will blackmail you because of the things they’ve helped you with. You really can’t dance in this party called life in borrowed clothes.

Like I said, this isn’t always the case. There are good people everywhere but seeing as you can’t really tell, and even when you have good friends, I’ll advise that, if you can, limit your asks. Don’t owe as little as an appreciation or apology. Have something you can give in exchange for favours. Otherwise, soon, you may just be selling your soul for peanuts.

Until next time, this is Cruise Control and I’m Oloye Emeka saying, life na cruise, catch am!